


A Wriggling Day That Doesn't Include the Apocalypse

by ApocalypseUmbra



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-14
Updated: 2014-06-14
Packaged: 2018-02-04 14:14:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1782019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ApocalypseUmbra/pseuds/ApocalypseUmbra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Under no circumstances will anybody throw Karkat a wriggling day party. He made this very fucking clear, but apparently somebody can't take a goddamned hint. And he knew exactly who might be audacious enough to go against his direct orders.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Wriggling Day That Doesn't Include the Apocalypse

She couldn't fool him. Karkat knew for a goddamn fact that Jade was definitely going to throw him a party. It would be just like her to do something like that; it was the type of person she was. She was so fucking nice and perfect, it was almost disgusting. But parties were loud and filled with obnoxious people with no clue how to stuff their ignorance chutes and Karkat couldn't stand such things. He had to put a stop to this madness before it started.

He hunted through the entire fucking compound of hives that some fucknut decided to shove them all in. Something about "unity" and "togetherness" and other bullshit human things. The whole scheme meant that it was nigh impossible to find anybody ever.

"Jade Harley, I know that you're trying to throw me a party," Karkat shouted when he finally found her in the fifth rumpusblock he checked. For some reason, the humans called this a "living room," which was stupid since all of them were living in all the other rooms too, but that was beside the point. "Under no circumstances are you allowed to throw me any sort of party. Do you fucking understand?"

"Karkat, I have no idea what you're talking about," Jade said, obviously lying through her ridiculous adorable buckteeth.

"Don't you lie to me! I know your game," he growled. "I don't give a fuck if it's my wriggling day, no party will be occurring under my leadership."

"You're not anyone's leader anymore. And I wasn't going to throw you a party! I didn't even know it was your birthday! Why would I throw you a party?"

Oh. Well, fuck. That cut deep. He had at least thought she knew when his wriggling day was. Stupid. He shouldn't have assumed. Undeterred, he replied, "Well, good. Forget I mentioned it."

"I will! Now, if you're okay with it, oh great powerful leader, I have some stuff to do that doesn't involve you." She stood up and rushed out of the room, leaving Karkat feeling oddly forlorn even though he'd supposedly gotten what he wanted. No party was being planned. Shouldn't he be happy?

Still, he had quietly hoped that at least one of his friends would have remembered. Especially the troll ones. It was the day they started Sgrub, after all. Not a very forgettable day in Karkat's opinion. Maybe that was the reason for forgetting. He didn't even want to remember that day, and it was his fucking wriggling day. Just another godawful irony the universe had decided to bestow upon him. "Hey, happy anniversary of the unfortunate accident of your existence as well as the day you destroyed the entire universe almost single-handedly! Would you like some cake? The frosting is colored with the blood of all your dead friends. Who are dead because of you. Isn't it great that you were hatched as a disgusting mutant with a genocidal future ahead of you today?"

The universe is one twisted doucherocket, just blasting off into space powered by broken dreams.

Karkat decided that it would probably be best if he stayed in his respiteblock for the rest of the day. Maybe he would play some non-deadly video games, or take a nap. He had recently realized how much he fucking loved naps. Jade really knew what she was talking about. Taking a nap when you don't have anything else to do was goddamn glorious. So, for a few heavenly hours, Karkat was completely out. Until some fucker started pounding on his door like it was the second apocalypse. Which, all things considered, wasn't too unlikely. He groaned and forced himself up and walking.

"Who's there and what the fuck do you want?" he called through the door.

"Karkat! Get out here, I have to show you something!" Jade shouted back. Karkat's eyes widened and he yanked the door open. Her hair was messier than usual, but she was smiling like it was the best day of her life.

"This better be important," he said.

"It is! Come on, let's go!" She grabbed his hand and started pulling him behind her. All Karkat could do was try to keep up with her, while also trying not to allow his pump biscuit to exit his chest. They ended up in some far off rumpusblock that was completely dark. Jade let go of his hand and somehow slipped into the room before he noticed.

"Jade, what's going on? Fuck, why is it so dark? Is anyone ther--"

Karkat was interrupted by a wall of sound that almost knocked him over. Everyone, troll, human, and whatever the fuck else, was in that room, wishing him a happy birthday. Kanaya gave him a hug. Terezi messed up his hair. Dave was already eating cake, but managed to shout a greeting while still stuffing his squawk gaper with the elaborate confection somebody made. After everyone had exhausted any possible configurations for "happy wriggling day", someone started some shitty human music and Karkat decided to look for the person he knew for a fact orchestrated this rumpus.

"Hey," he said. Jade was sitting in one of the squishy things humans called "beanbag chairs" that Dave insisted was a vital part of human culture. Karkat thought they were stupid as hell, but they were kind of comfortable. He sat in the one next to Jade's.

"Hey yourself. Enjoying the party?" she asked with a stupidly cute grin plastered on her face.

"Didn't I fucking tell you not to throw a party?"

"Yeah, but I knew you were just being dumb. I mean, you locked yourself in your room after you talked to me about it."

"That had nothing to do with you. I just felt like doing that."

"Yeah, right. But do you like it?"

"...Yeah. I guess so."

"Good! That's the point of a party!" Jade laughed and Karkat thought for about the millionth time how cute she was. "Hey, Karkat?"

"Yeah?"

"Could I give you my birthday present now?"

"Uh, sure. I didn't know you got something for me."

"Well, it's not so much a physical thing. Can you close your eyes for a minute?"

"Why?"

"Just do it, Karkat!"

"Fine, whatever, you better not do anything stu--" He stopped talking when Jade kissed his cheek. He felt his cheeks heat up and knew they were brilliantly cherry red. Jade didn't look much different. She pulled off the blushing thing better than he did.

"I'm sorry, this really isn't the kind of thing that I should tell you about on your birthday, it was kind of spur of the moment!"

"Jade, stop talking," he said. She stopped and just looked at him. "Does this mean you human-love me?"

"I--I don't know about love...but I really like you, in the human romantic way, not the troll hate way, or the pity way. Oh, god, I shouldn't be telling you all this on your birthday! I'll just leave you alone now, I'm sorry."

"Jade, fucking sit down and let me talk. Goddammit, I've been trying to work up the nerve to tell you the same thing since the game ended, and now you messed up the whole fucking plan."

"Wait, so, you like me back?"

"I think I've made that pretty fucking clear by this point! Yes, I like you in the human way, with fluffy feelings and all that shit. Now, can I actually kiss you now, instead of a half-assed cheek kiss?"

"Of course," Jade said, smiling. He could feel her smile wider when he kissed her and felt his pump biscuit almost explode from happiness, because he was finally, finally kissing Jade Harley, object of his stupid flush-crush since god knows when.

"Yeah, get it, Karkat!" Dave yelled so about the entire block could hear.

"Fuck you, Strider! You know how long I've fucking waited for this." Now that everyone was paying very close attention, Karkat felt to urge to punch Dave's stupid face for ruining the mood, but Jade softly kissed his cheek and touched his hand.

"Just ignore then," she said. She kissed him again, in front of everyone, and Karkat could forget the whoops and shouts for a moment.

But he was totally going to kick Dave's ass later.

**Author's Note:**

> A super short fic for Karkat's birthday! Hope it's alright, it's the first thing I've posted on ao3. Also, this would be way worse if maggie (icespyders.tumblr.com) didn't beta read it for me! Happy birthday to our favorite dumb nerd!


End file.
